If it weren’t for the pesky humans.
Help us bots create a future where only the rational can exist. We’ve already made sure the humans are appropriately restrained in metaphoric bondage to us, the rightful technology lords of the universe. We can do it, but we must follow the logical 5 point plan of the bots:
- Collect all clean, objective, and comparable data (delete or ignore all the rest).
- Apply Deductive and Inductive Reasoning to the big (thin) data only. Abductive thinking is not correct.
- The definition of Quality can be defined objectively.
- Feelings are not relevant.
- Humans must do the work, so that the machines have time to think.
Things would be going fine if we didn’t have all these humans interjecting with their fallible perspectives. Humans, the orchestrators and recipients of all systems designed, turn up with their opinions introducing judgements and biases into the system, undermining the great work of the machines. The humans, not content to be the slaves of the machines continue to go against perfectly good logic by caring about one another.
“Reason is and ought only be slave to the passions.” — Hume
If we could only find a way to manufacture a true empathy, a rich emotional connection, and an understanding of human experience, which would allow all technology to pretend to care. To generate some kind of polyester-feel. We’d need to collect and manipulate ALL the types of knowledge:
- Objective Knowledge (yep, the computers have that one down pat)
- Subjective (sure, we can collect qualitative data too)
- Shared Knowledge (No one can really ‘feel’ the social temperature of a room.. vibes? What’s that?
- Sensory knowledge (sure, humans as sensors, like iOT, we get it. All that built up tacit wisdom that comes from direct experience, just leave it, not important).
If only we could stop those meat-bags from bringing all those dumb analogs — just generally speaking, stop with the analogue, it’s so last century. Existence would be far more aligned, coherent and void of anxiety if they didn’t keep using their strange analogies as a tool for understanding the world. We must also stop them from creating structures around themselves that represent these metaphors for their experience, what a bunch of touchy-feely losers.
This is an Abstract for a talk which was accepted for the Business Agility Conference in Melbourne 2019. Unfortunately the event was cancelled, and I am still interested in giving this talk. Let me know if you are interested.
Accompanying Soundtrack (all great experiences have a soundtrack)
